Greetings…
I spent the weekend involved in one of my infamous “projects”.
The project I finished was painting one of the bathrooms that
was vacated by my son and will be used as the guest bathroom…
Next project on the list is his bedroom, but he still hasn’t
taken 85% of his “stuff” out of there. Do you think it’s
intentional? I wonder if taking it all gives a finality to
it that he subconsciously doesn’t want to face…
Just thinking out loud and practicing psychology 101…
it’s not that he doesn’t come over to pack things to take, it’s
how much he leaves with…
One grocery bag filled with stuff. Stuff from 20 years ago, stuff
from his childhood, and if I really looked, I think he has stuff
from Abraham Lincoln’s childhood. He saves and saved EVERYTHING!!!
I found his little Pacman mug when I opened his closet to see how
much stuff was still in there. I admit, I picked it up and smiled
as a few tears filled my eyes…
Looking around my son’s room and seeing everything he has saved got
me thinking about everything we save in our lives, only to eventually
have to weed out and get rid of down the road. When we save some of
the things, we never see ourselves getting rid of them and for many
people, getting rid of things is impossible to the point of allowing
their stuff to take over their space and lives…
Saving things from our past is a way to hang on to memories, usually
good ones. Some people try to cling to their youth by hanging on to
their stuff and others hang on to things to remind them of a lost
love…
There’s nothing wrong with any of this, however, our past is constantly
being created and stuff from the present will be stuff from the past
in the future and where do you put all this stuff???
I fall somewhere in between when it comes to saving things. I have
moved so many times in my life, saving everything was impossible
and choosing which things to save has always been hard, but necessary…
I do, however, have every little note that my boys gave me along the
way, as well as little gifts they made when they were young. Can’t
bring myself to throw any of that kind of stuff away. I have their
first teeth, their first lock of hair, baby books, etc.
I have albums and albums of photos of my children and of course, their
father. It’s no disrespect to Flyboy because my ex is the father of
my children. As far as keeping anything else from any other relationships,
I would say, nope, all purged. The person I am married to is the love
of my life, my current life and nothing before him seems relevant to
my life today…
Where do you fall when it comes to being a packrat? Do you keep and
save everything to the point it’s in every nook and cranny and in
boxes you haven’t opened in years? Do you save everything to remind
you of years gone by, or do you think you will make a fortune on
eBay some day?
I go through stages when it comes to getting rid of stuff and quite
frankly, it’s time to do some weeding out of another decade of stuff.
Of course there are things that I will never throw out, but when you
open a box and find a 40 foot Juicyfruit gum wrapper chain, you just
gotta ask yourself why you saved it all these years and if it had
sentimental value many moons ago, you’re now old enough to have a
memory that isn’t helping you out…
So, do you save things, and what are the “rules” as to what you keep
and what you toss? What are the reasons you saved the stuff in the
first place and do people run the risk of getting depressed when
they save too much stuff from their past?
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Good morning,
When my oldest son moved out we had empty nest until we realized he had left a ton of stuff here–which is how we came down to “dirty nest syndrome”.
He is 37 and I am still looking at some of his stuff.
I am going through the weeding out thing myself and had to laugh when I saw the column.
I wonder if they ever do come back and get all thier stuff?
I think we can all relate to this column, Jamie. And no they dont, Linda. lol
P.S. Jamie, there are no rules to saving, you just keep on, and find excuses as you go, as to why you cant part with the ’stuff’ !
Some of us have no issue throwing out stuff – physical stuff that is – it’s the emotional junk that we tend to keep and keep and keep. And as a former expert in storing emotional and spiritual junk, I can safely and honestly say that E-bay DOES NOT want that kind of junk. It actually prevents us from living and enjoying life to the fullest. Yeah, the good memories are great, but the hurts, pains and anger stuff- time to go into some serious spring cleaning eh.
I’m still working on that project.
Best of luck to all us packrats, may we have wisdom knowing what to keep and what to throw away!!!!
Oh my….guess I have to “fess up”…..My name is Phoebe and I am a Packrat…..
Several years ago when we were moving from a house we had lived in for 14 years, my husband said he was not moving the stuff in the basement! So, I said OK, but you’ll have to get rid of it…I can’t! So he took multiple loads of junk to the dump…..after about 10 truck loads the Gentleman at the dump asked…..”Are you bringing the house tomorrow”?
I’m getting better, because that was a real cleansing…..still have a hard time w/clothes, I clean out closets…but still have a hard time getting rid of those lovely things I may never wear again!
Hummm……think I’ll go clean a closet….thanks for the motivation!
Phoebe
In Virginia
I guess I’m NOT a packrat because my mother was the consumate pack rat and saved EVERYTHING. Quick story. After she passed, I just couldn’t bear to empty her apartment by myself, so called my sister to come and assist. Now from the time I moved my Mum here to Delaware so that she was close to me, she got together with the other little ladies at her complex, and YARD SALE was the theme of their every weekend. Back to her apartment. I’m cleaning out the kitchen which was overrun with sugar, ketchup, sweet and low, packets by the hundreds and every microwave dish she had ever cooked the food contained therein. Suddenly, my sister comes out of the bedroom, sobbing and holding up a pink dress from Mum’s closet. As I’m holding and comforting her, I’m looking at this dress she had brought out, and suddenly burst out in deep down belly laughs, as the dress was at least 4 sizes too small for my Mum to fit in. There was also the tell-tale piece of masking tape on the dress with a price of $1.00. There was a closet full of other clothes she had purchased and could never wear. So, I have never been, nor will I ever be a PACK RAT.
Thanks Jamie for the packrat story. My son still lives at home and never wants to part with anything. I would hate to say how much we have spent in storage units space over the years keeping stuff that will never be worth the price of the storage unit bills.
The gum wrapper chain brought back memories for me when I was about 11 or 12. The minister’s daughter and I would sit in church and make the chain with gum wrappers we collected all week and from some of the parishners. I’m sure her father noticed that we were busy folding wrappers during his sermon, but we both turned out okay so some of the sermon must have “sunk in”.
I have a friend who had a storage unit with stuff when she moved to her condo from her house. One day I found her there going through boxes of stuff she had saved for years. She was rereading her journals and then tossing them in a trash can. When I asked why she was tossing them, she said, they only mean something to me and my daughter would have to toss them after I’m gone, so why not save her the trouble and me toss them now. Jamie, she was even tossing pictures of her deceased husband (not her daughters father). That made me sad…..I think I’ll let my children toss the pictures I leave behind, it will be easier for me.
Thanks and I love your column!!!
Hi,
The packrat in our house is my husband mostly and after 15 yrs in the same home he has decided to clean out the junk. I’m like yaaaaa. But I do have some stuff myself that I cannot seem to part with.
Hi Jamie,
I’ve been thinking about getting rid of “stuff” for quite some time. Just can’t seem to do it.
I find that death makes me think of cleaning and purging things. We just had an Estate Sale for a friend. What a bunch of junk! It makes me wonder, if I were to die tonight, is that what people would think of my “things”. We moved from PA. to MT. 18 years ago and brought a lot of “stuff” with us. After we got here, I wanted to get rid of a lot of it. My husband said he paid to move it from PA to MT and we were going to keep it. 18 years later we still have it although it hasn’t been used. I also find that my “stuff” is good and his is junk! He feels the same way about my “stuff”. I think a lot of it comes from not have things as a child and working so hard to achieve and possess things in my life. Waste not Want not! Hold on to it, you might lose the weight, a neighbor may need it, it may come in handy someday. so and so gave it to me. See I have all the excuses!
My one daughter calls me a packrat and I guess I am. But how do you throw out things from six children and then 13 grandchildren? I am trying to clean out things in my home now, and I find it soooo hard to decide what goes and what stays. I have so many “little things” that mean so much to me, but may not to my children. So, my game plan is to have all six of my children come to my house and tell me what–if anything–they want when I move. Maybe that will help. Being a packrat makes me think how my father use to tell people “moving every 5 years is a great thing. You get rid of the junk.”
I think all of us keep a few things from our childhood. A child’s bracelet; a toy; a little box full of “treasures”…. I still have a few books that I read when I was a little girl. Will I get rid of them? Probably not. They bring back good memories.
When I met my future husband, he had barely any furniture in his house and no “stuff.” When he moved into my house, he couldn’t stand all the things around. Knick knacks, stuffed animals from my childhood (I was 29), lots of warranties and other junk from appliances and devices I no longer had, magazines, paperbacks, etc. Through the years he has helped me clear out a lot of stuff and to not feel so bad about throwing things out (or giving them away; freecycle is a wondeful thing).
The clothes and shoes, however, they are a constant struggle.
Before I met Joe, I had packed up my “previous life”: framed and loose photos, a few momentos, I don’t even remember what all; it seemed sort of sad that the things I couldn’t bear to throw away from my previous life but didn’t want sitting around fit into just one carrier-type bag. That bag is sitting up in the attic and I did look at it once many years ago, but other than that, I may as well have thrown that stuff away. I think I will retrieve the silver picture frame first, though.
Hi Jamie,
Know what you’re talking about when it comes to “saving things”!! How’s this for one???? The other day I was going through some kitchen cabinets and saw a lot of “empty” medicine bottles!!! Well, I’ve had 31 kidney stones, and one guess as to what was in those bottles!!!! Even had the date in some of them!!! The 31st one is trying to find it’s way to the bladder as I write!!! Thank goodness for pain pills and shots if needed from my doctor….had to get one about two weeks ago….I let it hurt as long as I can stand it, and they DO hurt, but I know when I’m hurting it’s moving!!!! Oh! well….I’ll take it as it comes. Am glad I have God on my side!!! Love your column!!! Like the way you “tell it like it is”!!!
My name is Debbie and I am a packrat.
Luckily, this summer, I have been weeding out and throwing away and giving to Goodwill. I watch the TLC show – Clean Sweep – that gives me so much inspiration to clean and get rid of. There has been so much that I have found wondering why I still have that piece of paper! It’s hard to let go of some of it. It was my past and there is a good memory to it, but the clutter is weighing me down so much that I am sick of the mess!
My husband is thrilled that my clutter is slowing leaving. I will be glad once I have finished. We have actually found things we have been looking for and I found $20 under some books!!!
I can relate to your son “slowly” moving his stuff out of your house. I moved out of my parents house 2.5 years ago and I just recently got “almost” all of my stuff out. I still have some clothes and misc. stuff there, but I can’t bear to pack it up and take it to my new home. It puts such a finality on leaving and even though I know I can always move back home it helps “secure” my place there if need be. It broke my heart when my mom turned my room into a “guest” room for my niece and nephew when they come to visit but I felt like a piece of my childhood was ripped away. I know it sounds crazy because my parents need to move on like I have but I really miss my place at their house. Is that something you ever grow out of?
Anyway, thanks for letting me rant.
Wow…first I would like to comment on Pat saving her kidney stones…with all due respect to Pat…why and what purpose does this serve. I am the complete opposite of a packrat. I saved books, drawings from my kids.and photo albums. They are all neatly stored. I always clean out the closets, etc. And donate to various charities. I feel good that someone in need can benefit from clothes,and shoes etc. that I have no use for. When my house is clutter free so is my mind. When my dad passed away several years ago we had to go through all his belongings and sad to say, but most of the things had meaning to him but not to us. We donated a lot and the rest went into 2 dumpsters. I would never want to put my family through this agonizing task so I resolved myself to the fact that I would not do the same.
I come from a family TREE of dedicated packrats! I don’t save every little thing, anymore, but I am trying to download a ton of stuff since my marriage last year to a very dear, sweet man who’s every inch the ‘clutterer’ that I am! He was married for 30 years to my best friend in School, she died an early death (at 53) of cancer even though she never smoked a day in her life ( her parents did,& all their friends did) & she was terrified of the entire medical profession, so therefore without proper care, she’s no longer here. She left more stuff, arts&craft stuff, needlepoint,paint-on-clothes,candy making,cooking, & having been a scout master for the Boy Scouts-camping gear, all sorts of things I’ll never use, & my beloved won’t use again( we’re ’senior citizns’at 60 yrs.young!). trying to release his grip on all these things is hard. trying to get me to stop bringing more in, is harder. so if you believe stopping smoking is hard, try telling me, a person who believes that as soon as you get rid of a thing you’ll find you need it,how to actually part with all of this!plus, my dear husband is handy with tools & can create furniture………….see what I mean?
My rules –
Will a photo of this momento do?
What will my child(ren) do with this when I die?
then I take a picture of it – digital- burn the pictures to cd then get rid of it
If this ever works I will let you know — because I am a dedicated pack rat myself
Four years ago I went from a large farmhouse to a studio apartment. I had to get rid of a lot of things. Now I think of my kids and keep my positions light so they will have minimum things to go through when I die. They only thing I could possibly be a packrat about is my books. And they love to read, too. They will probably have fun going through my books.
Anyone for Beanie Babies??
I have got to add the empty nest thing for me was so hard….ive redone my childrens rooms but i still have in each room things that belong to them..when i go into the rooms..for a moment in time they are still there…i see there things..and well i cant tell u i just can go back in time and see them ..stupid maybe but i just can not totally let go….i found my daughters glow worm the other day…n i took it to bed with me…sat it by the bed table and it glowed all nite…when i would wake up somehow the miles between us were so much closer…so im kinda a packrat but the things ive saved have so much memories….but still trying to get rid of some things..hard to keep it all…..im 60 and my mom calls me and says she still has things i had when i lived at home..i dont want them and she cant part with them..it just goes around…sandi
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