Greetings…

I would like to thank “Lady” for the article behind today’s column.
Lately, most of the news stories that we may have heard about seem
to always deal with negative or tragic incidents. This particular
story comes from a high school not too far from where I live and
I’m sure you’ll agree after reading the story, this is one of those
stories that make you nod in agreement and maybe even applaud
one teacher’s extra lesson to students in his class…

Boys at one Arizona public high school have spent the past year learning to

open doors for girls, pull out chairs for their female classmates and stand

when a girl enters a room…

Incorporating etiquette lessons into the classroom was the brainchild of Cord

Ivanyi, a Latin teacher at Gilbert Classical Academy, a public college prep

school 30 miles east of Phoenix…

A teacher for 14 years, Ivanyi said he was inspired to start demonstrating
what he considers proper etiquette after witnessing the coarse behavior that

some of the boys in his classes displayed toward the girls.

“Boys treat girls pretty roughly,” he said. “And there was so much disruption,

so I decided to do something about it.”

The informal lessons began with Ivanyi standing up one day after a girl in the

class had left the room to go to the bathroom. As she returned, Ivanyi held

open the door for her.

“She had this funny look on her face,” Ivanyi recalled. “And the other kids

giggled a little.”

Soon, however, Ivanyi was schooling the 10th-grade boys on how to seat their

female counterparts at their desks, by pulling out their chair and sliding it

underneath them as they sat. As a show of respect, the boys were encouraged to

stand any time a girl entered the room.

Behavior that was once utterly foreign has become routine. “Ninety-eight

percent of the boys stand now when a girl enters the room, and the girls love

it,” Ivanyi said.

As a result of the emphasis on politeness, the overall mood in the classroom

has changed markedly.

“There’s a different tenor in the class, a gravity attached to the girls.

They’ve been more feminized in the boys’ eyes,” Ivanyi said. “These girls are

reading Jane Austen novels in class. For them, chivalry hasn’t gone out of

style.”

Cord Ivanyi said that he started incorporating etiquette lessons in response
to what he felt was a distressing lack of civility in his classroom.

Melissa Leonard, an etiquette instructor in New York for the past 13 years,

applauds Ivanyi’s efforts. “I think it’s great if it’s practical etiquette

instead of the white-glove, snobby kind.”

Leonard argues that learning proper manners helps kids navigate a variety of

social situations. Sadly, too few have an understanding of the basics.

“There are some fundamental rules that are important for kids to learn, like

looking someone in the eye when talking to them,” Leonard said. “And there can

be a role for the school to play, especially if etiquette isn’t being taught at

home.”

But is teaching gender-specific etiquette perpetuating what some consider

sexist traditions?

Gilbert Classical Principal Brian Rosta stresses that the emphasis Ivanyi

places on social graces is not an official part of the school’s curriculum.

Rosta has no plans to expand the politeness training, but he is a firm believer

that schools can play a vital role in teaching manners.

“We often use the Latin phrase in loco parentis, ‘in place of parents,’ and

sometimes we find that we need to fill the gaps that parents miss,” Rosta said.

“If there are any life skills our teachers can help with, I encourage that.”

What’s more, the parents of the students in Ivanyi’s class don’t seem to mind,

either.

“The only negative thing I’ve heard are parents calling to make sure that their

daughters say ‘thank you’ to the boys,” Rosta said.

OK, there it is and I have to say, I applaud Mr. Ivanyi and it angers me
a little that he has to be the one that is teaching what kids should have been

taught at an early age and reinforced as they grow, by their parents…

The fact that these kids have responded so positively tells you that kids
NEED guidance and more importantly…WANT it. How sad that parents would
call the principal after the fact to make sure their daughtwers say thank
you. Didn’t they know this before Ivanyi taught them? Wouldn’t you, as
a parent be embarrassed if someone else did what you should have done?

As far as anyone claiming this is sexist…Give me a break. I don’t care
how many feminists scream at the top of their lungs about this, MOST
females WANT to be treated like a lady. Part of the reason males don’t treat
females with respect is their own behavior and not always because of the
infamous “men are pigs” quote…

I have always maintained that lessons such as the one this teacher is
teaching is just as valuable to kids as math, history, or science. For
one to succeed in the “outside world”, one must know how to live in it
and interact with those living in that outside world…

Bravo Mr. Ivanyi, I wish we not only had more teachers like you, I wish
we had more parents like you…